I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
