So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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