Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
