So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
