But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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