She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
