Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?