I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?