he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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