I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
