It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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