Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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