my soul wont recognize me after tonight
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
