she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Randomize
