she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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