Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.