what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
