So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.