I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
