You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself