butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
