Nicole vs. Life
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
