i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have post one night stand depression
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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