1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
