Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook