try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!