my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think this conversation is over.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst