He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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