i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.