she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
