I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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