Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize