I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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