Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
