woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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