She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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