Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
