Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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