ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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