i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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