how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
