Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
