y did u give ur computer a hand job?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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