look no pants
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
