Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
