He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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