I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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