That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am one with the molecules
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
