operation harelip BJ is a go
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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