the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
