he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
