If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
