I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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