I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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