fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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