I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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