I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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