i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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