More tranny stories later!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
