Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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