I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
