People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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