awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
