Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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