ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can I color on your dick again?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
