margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
