Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
