I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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