this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
