Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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