hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
