No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
