Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it's like heaven, but drunker
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sext me about skeletons
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
