How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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