I want to have your abortion
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
