your parents love me but you hate me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize