Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
What drink are we having for lunch?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
