What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
