so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A+ Viking dick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
