I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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