I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
