I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
