is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
